This post isn’t about optimization or analytics. It’s a post sharing something that opened my eyes recently.
My mom passed away on 10/10/13. She was fighting her third round with cancer the past two years. Her loss has been devastating.It seems like it just happened, it seems like it’s been months already, it seems like it’s a bad dream and I’ll wake up from it. I often pretend it didn’t happen.
About three weeks ago, her health started to decline rapidly. She was sleeping a lot and had very little energy. We would come over to her house to try to make her feel more comfortable and cheer her up. One particular night when she had the energy to come downstairs and join for dinner, the mood was somewhat dark. I had a hard time finding ways to lighten the atmosphere. My kids, Alex & Sasha age 7 and Blake & Casey age 4, decided to start a sumo wrestling match out of the blue. It provided lots of laughter and entertainment for everyone. During the last sumo ‘match’, Alex pushed Sasha into a piece of furniture that then swung up, hit the wall, and made a fist size hole.
What happened next was the piece that struck me. We all laughed. My dad, mom, me, my wife, the kids. Typically, I would have said “What are you doing?!”, yelled at my kids, and told my parents I would fix it right away.
When you are broken and stripped to cherishing every minute of being with someone you love because they might not be around much longer, things are put into perspective. The hole in the wall was a much needed comical and self-reflective moment. I have since been thinking about the ridiculous amount of effort I have been putting towards things that really don’t matter. Getting mad about my kid spilling milk on the table. Yea it sucks when it happens. Get them to clean it up. Spills can be cleaned. I want them to remember me as the one who loves them dearly and not the one who gets mad at them often.
Moments you miss are gone forever. I would love to go back in time a few months ago and just sit and hold my mom’s hand.
Figure out what matters and live to make the right moments count.
One less reprimanding. One more hug. One less frustration. One more sense of gratitude. One less hesitation to tell someone I love them. One more ‘I love you’.
Miss & love you mom.